I'm starting to understand I can be who I am, accept my life as it is, and find joy in the mess of my mistakes and missteps. I wasn't always so willing to look at life or myself this way. It's been a process, as they say.
A few months ago I participated in a group meditation. The focus was that only by being still within, do we allow and attract what we need, which will bring us our greatest joy. That meditation was one more brick in the foundation of my acceptance. Acceptance of me, now, acceptance of what is.
One of the first bricks, if not the very first brick came back in December of last year. I signed up for a devotional via the Youversion Bible app called "Loop: Let the Lord Heal You: Your New Beginning". This line stood out to me "These first starts are for you to appreciate the moments that came before them - to see where I was, what I was doing before you recognized my presence." The moments before beginnings, really don't get enough credit.
The idea of acceptance was pretty foreign to me in December. I was a striver, a doer, an earner. So, that's to say the concept of striving is ingrained in me. From our American culture to our professional lives, to our self-improvement, all the way down to our inner child begging to be seen as enough, as worthy. I had heard, accepted, and preached striving.
So how do I get from striving to allowing? By the moments before beginnings. Before I could learn to accept, I had to unlearn how to strive. During meditation, an image came to me of a flower blooming.
The point that flowers allow and become. Flowers take in the nutrients of the soil, sun, and rain and they grow and bloom when it's the right time. By accepting, and allowing the nutrients around them their true nature comes forth. Like flowers, we can feel the energy around us and adapt. Instead of trying to force the energy around us to be something else. If you ever hear yourself say "I should" take note. Why should you? To gain acceptance? To give yourself worth? Look deep within.
You are already accepted. You are inherently worthy. Just as you are. right. now.
How do I know this? It's because you exist. Simply by existing you are accepted by God, the universe, and all that is. Simply by existing you are deemed worthy, by God, the universe, and all that is.
All that is left is for you to accept it. For you to allow that truth to find a home in the bones, the marrow, the soul of you. Breathe it in.
I am accepted
I am worthy
I am loved
In January I wrote in my journal "I feel like it's arbitrary to believe a new year will have 'new' things. The year will change but you may not. Your life may change on June 6th or September 4th. But it will be right on time. I do not need to strive for a new me, a new life, new, new, new. I will simply become as each day unfolds. Knowing my divine time is perfect."
Let's open up to our divine timing, like a flower about to bloom.